The boy and I have made it over the 1 month hump; surprisingly he was the one to remind me of out "anniversary" the other day which was refreshing. It seems like he's the middle of the two extremes of my last two relationships. Matt was all "I love yeeew" and was non-stop sappy, whiney, and pathetic (not to mention a kinky little bastard - MY VAGINA IS NOT A SCIENCE EXPERIMENT KTHX). The Redneck would have preferred to smack me upside the head, push, yank me around my hair or drink a liter of whiskey rather than let me know how he was feeling. I'm relieved that I'll never have to deal with either of those types again. Funny how I went from a complete pussy to an abusive closeted homo (OH THAT'S RIGHT, I SAID IT).
I'm sure the Brokeback homo has heard about Christian and I by now, god knows I did the high school thing and announced it on Facebook and Myspace, either through the dirty skank Tricia or the pervy nerd Jesse. I bet the Redneck is ramming his seacow girlfriend extra hard out of anger. It's his own fault for god sake! He was an idiot not to know that something was going on, especially when I told him I went to the movies with Christian and fractured my tibia. Or when my douche roommated decided to call him and let him know I was caught red handed sucking face (thanks Bret for that phrase btw) with my now boyfriend. But then again, he was probably too busy pretending to be Jake Gyllllennahalllall with some dude. Y'know he's totally a bottom.
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As someone who has had her share of outlandish and out of hand relationships, Samantha Ryan has decided to expose the large percentage of men who deserve WTF awards.
Test Subject
- Samantha Ryan
- Hampton Beach, NH, United States
- It's all easier to handle if I'm drunk.
10 comments:
SO I HAVE A LITTLE PENT UP FRUSTRATION BUT HE'S STILL A HOMO. CHRISTIAN VERIFIED 3 BFS LOL
YOU NEED SOME BLACK LOVIN' BB. OMG YOU CAN HAVE SEX WITH ME AND MAYBE MY NEW BLACKNESS WILL RUB OFF ON YOU. THEN YOU CAN BE LIKE 3RD PARTY THUGGISH.
BTW RED STRIPE = BOMB.
OMGLOL BLACKNESS BY ASSOCIATION. I ALREADY STABBED A GUY AND I DRINK GIN AND JUICE WITH MY MIND ON MY MONEY AND MY MONEY ON MY MIND- SO I'LL GET EVEN MORE STREET CRED.
RED STRIPE IS THE BALLS. WTF LET'S GET HAMMERED AT THE BRET MICHAELS SHOW.
I THINK GETTING HAMMERED AT HIS SHOW IS THE ONLY WAY I'LL BE ABLE TO STAND IT. ALTHOUGH HIS THEME SONG IS PRETTY NON-SHITEY SO I WILL JAM OUT. BUT WTF I AM NOT PAYING FOR A TICKET SO MAYBE IF I FLASH HIM WE'LL GET IN FOR FREE.
I LIKE THE SONG THEY PLAY DURING HIS ~*REFLECTION*~ MOMENTS. "REMEMBER OUR FIRST DANCE... REMEMBER OUR FIRST KIIIIIISSSSSS" LOLOLOL
OMG LET'S JUST AMBUSH HIM BEFORE THE SHOW. I'LL LIFT UP MY SKIRT AND YOU CAN PULL DOWN YOUR TOP AND WE'LL GET V.I.P. FOSHO'.
LOL I WONDER IF BIG JOHN WILL BE THERE. IF HE IS DOES THAT MEAN WE NEED TO GET PERMISSION FROM HIM FIRST? OMG WTF I WANT TO ADD "GO THAT FAR" TO MY MYSPACE BUT I CAN ONLY FIND SMALL CLIPS WTF BRET
LOL I'M GOING TO START CALLING AMBER "JIMMINA" AFTER LYING ABOUT HER AGE. NOW ALL SHE NEEDS IS SOME FRIENDS WITH MULLETS AND THE TRANSFORMATION WILL BE COMPLETE.
ROFLOMG
"I'm 29..."
"No you're not."
"I'm 29..."
"NO... You're NOT."
"I'm 27..."
"NO YOU'RE FUCKING NOT."
OMG MULLETS. DON'T FORGET GUYLINER AND WEIRD LEATHER VESTS OVER T-SHIRT COMBOS OHGODIPICKTHEWORSTMENROFL.
AAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
OMG BB THE HILL ISN'T THE YOUNGEST, I DON'T THINK... I THINK THE ALIEN IS- BUT HIS LIFE SUCKS ANYWAY SO EITHER WAY ROFL.
OMG AND THE OLDEST ONE IS THE BEST LOOKING ONE. WHY GOD WHY. WHY WHY WHY WHY.
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