Today things are starting new. After spending time with my guy friend Owen last night and discussing what was (or wasn't) going on with Afro, he asked me the clearest question:
"Well, what do you want?"
I don't want what's been going on. I don't want confusion, I don't want uncertainty, I don't want someone who doesn't know if they want me back. I'm just done with it all. I'm going to start doing the things I want to do on my time. I'm not going to sit around wondering what is going to happen when everything right now is in my control to begin with. I think I spent too much time having my romantic life revolve around what was conveinent for everyone else that I'd forgotten that I'm the one that dictates what goes on in my life. From now on, if I want to see someone, I'm going to. If I think my night or life will be better off without him, then so be it. I've wasted far too much time investing my emotions into things that will never evolve into something real.
It's angsty times like these that I just have to turn to Alkaline Trio's "This is Getting Over You", so while I'll provide you with the lyrics to my 2008 anthem, hunt down the tune and give it a listen.
Today I woke up
Younger than I've been in years
Not concerned with what's outside
And fears, I don't have any
No one is my equal because I'm the king of rain
Controlling with my moodswings
Throw a thunderstorm your way
Drowning girls is a game I play
Today I woke up
More awake than I have felt in years
Not concerned with anything, no tears
Well I'm done with that shit
No one is your equal because you're the queen of pain
Controlling with my mood temps
Staring at my shoes as I run away
Drowning myself is a game I play
Drown myself away
Drown myself away
Goodbye
This is getting over you
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