This Modern Love

Things are on the up and up - or as up as they can go when moving back in with parents for the summer with boyfriend in tow. Yes, boyfriend in tow.

Christian came over last night and after sucking up the guilt of bouncing him from RI to NH, I brought up the subject of what we're going to do over the next few months. I told him that with my money/job/apartment situation down here, it would be smarter and easier for me to head home for the summer to save up and figure out where we're going to end up at the end of August. He was a bit taken aback, but then I told him that after talking to my mom, she mentioned that he's more than welcome to camp out with me in the furnished room in the basement rent free and I could see the relief wash over his face. I quickly pointed out the bonuses of it all before the fear was able to come back, like that it was only temporary, it would be easy to find a kitchen job, we can quickly save at least $5,000 or so, and since we're uprooting ourselves in just a few months from now, it would give us a chance to figure things out without worrying about money.

He told me that where ever I was going he wanted to be there - be it across the country or back in New Hampshire. I told him that I felt guilty about bouncing him two states away, but he told me that he needed to get things in gear anyways and that this would be a perfect motivator to move things along. I cannot even express how relieved I was to hear him say that. Apparently his roommate is considering leaving for a cruise ship job August 1st and is going down to the restaurant he and Christian both work at tomorrow to talk things over with the boss. Christian says he's going to use that timing to head down there with him and break the news to the both of them of what his plans are.

While I'm completely relieved that this all worked out, I'm still...stunned? Doubtful? Stressed? One of those. I might be more nervous/excited more than anything. Granted, we've spent a lot of time together for 2-3 spans at a time, but living together is going to be whole new environment. I have little doubt that things are going to bomb and turn out horribly; I think it's just that realization that 'holy shit, things are moving ahead like we planned' and 'has everything gone by so quickly already?'. So now I'm not stressed at least, just the scary realization that we're moving at full speed and not looking back.